Sympathy for Hitler's Soul


INT. AN OFFICE-LIKE ROOM. EVERLASTING LIGHT

There are no windows, just walls. It’s a pragmatic room, lacking excess materials. The only thing in it is a desk. GOD sits here doing some paperwork. He is a young physical manifestation that looks 20 years old.

Suddenly, there are loud screams coming from the hall. 

HITLER’S SOUL
(from hall)
Where is He?!! Get your hands off me. Tell me where He is?!!

GOD continues doing his paperwork, not bothered by the screaming. 

Then, something bursts through the office door. It is HITLER’S SOUL. Also looking like a young man in his 20s, it stands in the doorway and catches its breath. 

GOD’S eyes slowly roll up from His paperwork.

HITLER’S SOUL looks surprised, as though it expected someone else.

HITLER’S SOUL (CONT’D)
I thought you’d be old and gray.

GOD’S face remains stoic, but a burst of breath leaves His young lungs.

GOD
Satan!!!

SATAN appears in the doorway. He wears a neat, Oreo-colored suit and an enormous, unsettling smile.

GOD (CONT’D)
Whose soul is this?

SATAN’S two rows of teeth seem to be glued together. But words still manage to leave his mouth.

SATAN
(in an echoed whisper)
Hhhhitler’ssssss Sssssoullll.

GOD relaxes a bit. SATAN leaves.

GOD
Ah, yes. 
(to Hitler’s soul)

Have a seat.

HITLER’S SOUL sluggishly sits in a chair across from the desk. The door closes behind him. It stares at GOD for a moment.

GOD (CONT’D)
Old and gray? No no. I prefer a young body. A diet of prunes doesn’t appeal to me.

HITLER’S SOUL
How could you?

GOD plays dumb.

HITLER’S SOUL (CONT’D)
Six million killed...all by my command.

GOD
(correcting him)
By Hitler’s command.

HITLER’S SOUL
When I agreed to a human manifestation, nobody told me I’d be in Hitler’s body.

GOD leans back in his chair and crosses his legs.

GOD
Hitler’s body...the Pope’s body...it’s all the same and equally irrelevant up here. Your work is done and eternal bliss awaits you.

HITLER’S SOUL
Down on earth my name is synonymous with evil. 

GOD
But you’re a hero up here.

HITLER’S SOUL slides to the edge of its seat.

HITLER’S SOUL
What?

GOD
You successfully taught Man how the body and mind can deceive him. It was a job well done.

HITLER’S SOUL
I didn’t want to be a hero up here.  I wanted to do good on earth.

GOD
And you did.

HITLER’S SOUL
Oh, my God!!!

The blasphemy annoys God.

GOD
Satan! 

SATAN quickly appears in the doorway again.

GOD (CONT’D)
Take him up to eternal bliss, please.

HITLER’S SOUL jumps out of its chair.

HITLER’S SOUL
(to Satan)
Don’t touch me!

SATAN wraps his scaly arms around HITLER’S SOUL.

HITLER’S SOUL (CONT’D)
No! No! I’m not done talking with you, God! Nooooooooo!!!!

SATAN drags HITLER’S SOUL out of the office; he never stops smiling.

HITLER’S SOUL now screams unintelligibly. Absolute pandemonium ensues inside the hallway.

GOD rises from his desk.

His eyes look dark, perhaps even a little evil.  

A door slams shut. Bright light pours out of the bottom crack. The sign on the door says, ‘Eternal Bliss,’ but the incessant screaming heard from within suggests just the opposite. 

HITLER’S SOUL is in hell. 


THE END

 


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