What Am I Surviving For?

I just had a moment of happiness
I realized
That for the next couple months
I was set

There were going to be enough freelance jobs
To make enough money
To pay the bills
Have food
Get gas
And maybe even have a little left over
For a beer or two

But this moment of happiness
Dissipated quickly
And I realized that financial survival
Was not strong enough a foundation
To support a happy state of mind.
The foundation was weak
It crumbled fast…

Clearly I have contracted the mental disease
That warped state of mind:
“As long as I am surviving
I am good…
And I am happy”

This is a state of mind
Pushed on us by the “powers that be”
Especially in this weak economy
We’re conditioned to be grateful
And happy
If we can survive.
That’s the point of life:
To survive 
And if we want more
We’re ungrateful


What am I surviving for?
There’s got to be more to life
But I’m still figuring out 
What that is

What the hell
Am I surviving for?


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