Pouring Out the Beer

It’s about time I do it
It has to be done
The can’s been sitting by my computer
For five fucking days
Probably growing mold
Or at least collecting dust

There’s about three quarters left
And it’s a 24-ouncer
The Daddy, now
No 12-ounce child

I pick it up
And, oh, it still has so much weight to it
I shouldn’t have even cracked it that night
I was already several deep
But I thought I needed just a little bit more
A liiiiiiittle bit more
So I could get just a tad higher
And go to sleep just a little bit faster

But I shouldn’t have done it
Because I could only drink five or six sips
And I wasted all the rest
And I can’t stand seeing beer
Go to waste

I remember that one time
I was at a bar
The waitress came
And took my beer away
While there was still a good sip left

I became infuriated
And I couldn’t let the situation go
That one sip kept haunting me
I couldn’t stop thinking about
That one sip
I felt some weird void
Like I wasn’t complete
Without having that last sip

But now things are different
There’s way more than one sip
Probably about twenty times that
I can’t let all those sips go!

But I can’t let the beer sit there forever
It’s time to pour it out
Down the drain
You have to do it sometime
Better sooner than later


There it goes into the sink
Still smells good
And even looks good
Still has a healthy fizz to it
As it streams down the drain

Maybe I could’ve drunk it
Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten sick
The alcohol was still present
It would’ve made its way into my blood
And that’s all that matters
I would have felt the buzz

But now here’s a secret:

The sick thing is
I probably would’ve been OK
Getting a little sick
Feeling weird in the stomach
Maybe even puking
Though I doubt that would happen

It would’ve been all worth it
Just to see
That beer 


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