I woke up this morning.
I opened Facebook.
There was a photo tagged.
From last night.
Not sure if it was the lighting.
Or the shadow.
But a look was captured.
In my eyes.
And it’s unsettling.
I would call it a fluke.
A random occurrence.
But I’ve seen this look before.
And I was always just ignoring it.
I was in denial.
But now there’s no denying it.
‘What’s this look?’ you’re wondering.
Yes, I should probably explain.
It’s not a good look.
It was a look that I would often see in others.
And if I saw it, I would avoid them.
It warned me of a snake in the grass.
Somebody not to trust.
Somebody to keep a good distance from.
Somebody not to surround yourself with.
But now that look is in me.
And I can’t distance myself from me.
I can’t NOT trust me.
I HAVE to trust me.
How else can you live?
Unless you trust yourself?
And therein lies my dilemma.
The eyes are the window to the soul.
And right now my eyes are saying…
That my soul is broken.
Is this true?
It may be true.
The question is when?
When did my soul turn sour?
Because I didn’t always have this ‘look’.
Was there a definitive point in time whence it came?
Or was it gradual???
But more importantly…
Can I get the ‘look’
To go away?
Or is my soul irreparably damaged?