FUN WRITING


NOTE: most of these stories initially appeared as "blogs" on Matt Burns' Myspace website or on his Burnzo Diaries Blog. Also keep in mind that these stories may contain some strong language/imagery (i.e. some swearing and sexual stuff). But nothing is gratuitous, meaning the language is used with the purpose of expressing truth. Read at your own risk, especially if you are my grandmother.

 

Levaquin with a Twist of Lyme (Summer-Fall 2017)

The story of my epic battle with Lyme disease in the summer and fall of 2017:

Levaquin with a Twist of Lyme
 

Revisting Powell-Peralta Skate Videos (September 2017)

A fun short memoir revisiting my love of skateboarding and Powell-Peralta skate videos:

Revisting Powell-Peralta Skate Videos
 

Tripping Down Grunge Music Alley (May 2017)

Remembering such grunge-band greats as Soundgarden, Alice in Chains and Stone Temple Pilots:

Tripping Down Grunge Music Alley
 

I Used To Be A Gamer (November 2016)

A fun trip down video game lane! This is a love letter to classic 8-bit Nintendo and a memoir of how I used to be a dedicated gamer:

I Used To Be A Gamer
 

Jungle F'ng Fever (September 2016)

First, Slash wrote his memoir. Then Duff wrote one, too. We even heard from one of the GNR roadies in his own (unauthorized) memoir. But now it’s time to read all about Guns and f’ng Roses…from a fan’s perspective. MY perspective:

Jungle F'ng Fever: My 30-Year Love Affair with Guns N' Roses
 

RIP PowerBook G3 (July 2016)

My 16-year-old Mac PowerBook G3 laptop has officially died and I thought I would write a blog about all the fun times we had together. This blog is partly a eulogy and partly a retrospective of all the short movies I made with my beloved PowerBook:

RIP PowerBook G3
 

A Raging Case of Beastie Fever (May 2016)

With the four-year anniversary of MCA's death earlier this month, I felt that writing about the Beasties was long overdue. This is both a memoir of my 30-years-worth of "Beastie Fever" and a general tribute to/retrospective of the Beastie Boys as well:

A Raging Case of Beastie Fever
 

Open Casting Call for the Mark Wahlberg Movie (March 2016)

My first experience attending an open casting - aka "cattle" - call for a Hollywood movie (shooting in Boston):

Open Casting Call for the Mark Wahlberg Movie
 

The Black Mass Premiere (February 2016)

A memoir documenting my first time ever experiencing a big Hollywood movie premiere:

The Black Mass Premiere
 

Three Days in Hollywood (February 2016)

A memoir that documents three days I spent in Hollywood, CA. back in 2005. I explore the good, the not-so-good and the outright horrifying aspects of the fascinating town:

Three Days in Hollywood
 

Greyhounding it, Baby! (October 2013)

A blog documenting my experience taking a 24-hour-long Greyhound bus ride from Kentucky to Boston. Discusses all the strange, weird and shady characters I encounter along the way. WARNING: this blog is very tongue-in-cheeky, so much that it is borderline offensive and - without a doubt - politically-incorrect:

Greyhounding it Baby!
 

My Time in the Desert (December 2012)

A personal story about believing in your self and the inner voice within, while filtering out outside judgement and opinion, even from the people you respect the most:

My "Time in the Desert"
 

To Tell or Not to Tell? (March 2012)

On the surface, this is a story about a girl with herpes, but in the subtext there are philosophical questions about karma, God and fate.

To Tell or Not to Tell?
 

The Beast in the Jungle - Part 2 (December 2011)

A story about how I narrowly escaped financial ruin during the last few months of 2011. I discuss the importance of taking a leap of faith and dealing with life on a literal day-by-day basis:

The Beast in the Jungle - Part 2
 

The Beast in the Jungle (November 2011)

A brief philosophical blog about how 'the future' tricks us into thinking it's the present, making us fearful of events that may or may not take place:

The Beast in the Jungle
 

The Importance of Being Happy (November 2011)

A philosophical blog about how it's our obligation to both God and the universe to be happy in our lives:

The Importance of Being Happy
 

I Kissed a Black Girl and I Liked it (June 2011)

A short story about my first physically intimate experience with a woman of the African race:

I Kissed a Black Girl and I Liked it
 

Regrettable Night at the Boston View Motel (November 2009)

One of the strangest, funniest nights ever to come out of my drunken antics:

Regrettable night at the Boston View Motel
 

Meeting with an Oscar-winning Producer (June 2008)

A memoir of my meeting with an Oscar-winning producer at the Four Seasons Hotel in Manhattan:

Meeting with an Oscar-winning Producer
 

My Near-Death Experience (May 2008)

A night I will never forget!

My Near-Death Experience
 

Making out with a Fifty-year-old (November 2007)

An innocent night out at a bar turns into a something much more dirty.

Making out with a Fifty-year-old
 

Diary of a Street Performer (July 2007)

Two diary entries documenting my attempt at street performing in the Boston Common:

Diary of a Street Performer
 

Shout Out to a German Girl (June 2007)

A love letter to a random girl I had 'a moment' with at a bar on Fat Tuesday 2006:

Shout Out to a German Girl
 

Another tale of innocense lost (May 2007)

Catching a couple having sex in a public park.

Another tale of innocence lost
 

Simple rules for single-seater bathrooms (February 2007)

Barging in on a grown man in a public Starbucks bathroom.

Simple rules for single-seater bathrooms
 

What I Learned on New Year's Eve (January 2006)

A few lessons learned after rocking in the year 2006 at a club in Boston:

What I Learned on New Year's Eve
 

Ten Things That Piss Me Off Series (Fall 2005 - Winter 2006)

Matt Burns' embittered alter ego "Bruno Burns" does his top-ten list of things that piss him off in the classroom...at Church...and at the movies:

Ten things that piss me off!
 

Attention Supermarket Shoppers! (October 2005)

Ten things to keep in mind when you're at the check-out of your local supermarket:

Attention Supermarket Shoppers!
 

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